What We Do for Love

I finished Stephenie Meyer's The Host last night. The last two hundred pages were very hard to tear myself away from, and I have to admit I got a little emotional just before the end. I think we're really lucky to have this human experience. All hardship, temptation, and trial aside, the range and depth of emotion that we are privileged to feel is a blessing! And the power of the emotion we call love, in all its many forms, really is overwhelming. Wanderer was willing to do previously unthinkable things in the name of love. So was Melanie. So have I.

Tomorrow is my 3rd wedding anniversary. Hallelujah! You have no idea what a milestone that is. We made it another year. Another year behind us. Another year we never have to live again. And believe me, with the things that we've had to deal with, making it through another year is a triumph! But then again, I suppose every year that any marriage survives is a triumph in this world of shifting values where quitting is easy and self-gratification is the name of the day. So, hooray for us, and hooray for you who every day are doing the grunt work of marriage, in the trenches, learning the lessons, gleaning the rewards. It's a satisfying place to be.

What have I learned in this, my third year of my second marriage?

1. Shut up.

2. You don't need to say it.

3. It won't help if you do say it.

4. You'll only make it worse if you say it.

5. Even though you're right, still don't say it.

6. He already knows, so don't bother saying it.

7. If you say it, you still won't be happy.

8. If you say it, he still won't stop.

9. He's happier when you keep his faults to yourself. (see #6)

10.Most things will work out, so be quiet.

I'm a slow learner, I guess! But I have to say, that I do believe that our souls find another soul who is perfectly suited to teach us the hardest lessons that we must learn in mortality (but I do not believe that there is only one such soul for each of us), and that there is divine wisdom in the choices we make in spouses. I had that sense when I married Adam. That though I didn't understand fully the reasons at the time, I had this feeling that my union with him would be a blessing so great that I could not even fully comprehend it. And I have learned to trust the process of marriage, for it isn't simply an event. And I think I'm a better me this year than I was at this time last year, so it must be working. Thank goodness for that.

I love you, my Adam. You and me against the world. (Literally, right?)

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