With all of the trials and worries we have going on right now, I don't know how, but I feel blessed. So peaceful, and contented, and calm. I love my life!
I am insanely proud of my children. I'm watching them unfold and become amazing little people. Dylan returned home from Scout camp with bee stings and adventures, and happiness in his voice. . .that is starting to crack. I inundated him with letters while he was gone. Made the other kids write him too. I knew that leaving for camp was hard for him. He'd only been home for a day after his long visit with his dad, and off he went again. He was full of nerves and worries about what the experience would be like. I'd hidden a letter in his backpack for him to find once he got there, and then every day he was gone I wrote him long letters filled with the happenings of our days, good ol' Mom advice, and my love for him. He said the other kids teased him about the piles of letters he got every day, but he loved it, and told them, "That's right, cause my mama loves me!" Boy, is he right. I hope he never ever doubts that!
Last night I had Mother/Son Date Night with Aiden. We went to McDonald's and then to the track (to walk it off), where we walked two miles and talked. And sometimes we didn't talk. And it was all nice. I'm just getting to know Aiden as a boy. He's growing up so fast, and he's always so generous and patient and giving. Sometimes I have to work to find out what's really going on inside that heart of his. Sweet times. He told me that Date Night is his very favorite privilege. Mental note: Do it more often.
Lyndsay and Dylan are right now at the Los Angeles Temple doing baptisms with the youth in our ward. I love their hearts of service and willingness.
I was setting Conor in his high chair tonight after a long period of incessant whining for food, and my frustration almost made me miss the fact that every day tending these kids, even in the monotony of every day, is a labor of love and an investment into who they will become. I had this image of my grungy whiny baby driving me nuts change into Dylan and Lyndsay who have so little time left in the nest really, and of Aiden who has grown out of all vestiges of babyhood, and I was overwhelmed with this sense of contentment. It's all worth it. I saw it, even just a glimpse, but I saw just enough to have my frustration and impatience melt away with Conor and look at him with new eyes. A good reminder for a tired Mom.
My days are filled to overflowing with activities, goals, projects, and just plain old work. But it fills me, and I am aware of how lucky I am. Even on the days when it seems like I don't get a second to myself. Maybe even especially on those days. Another day will come, though I'm really in no hurry. Tonight, I feel blessed.