Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Life Overhaul

I haven't been blogging much lately. Life has steered me in an unexpected direction of self-discovery and I have used all of my "free" time in reading, studying, repenting, and trying to make necessary changes so that I can have all of the happiness that I deserve to have. For many years, I have believed that I was not a major contributor to problems in my life, and now I see that I have been, and am. At this discovery, I have curled up in a ball and wept with sorrow over pain I have caused others and myself, and I have danced through the house elated at the freedom that true awareness brings. It is the awareness that offers hope of change.

I have been working with an excellent counselor, and listening to her book on tape, trying to soak it all in. I have made changes around our house in anticipation of all of the children coming home. I have been writing profusely in my journal and trying to keep up with all of the realizations that are illuminating my mind. And, I've been reading. I wish every single human being would read the following books. And not just once. I've read them all once (actually, some of them I've read about four times previously), but only this time did I finally get it.

1. (I know you think this book doesn't apply to you, but it does)




I am learning whole new ways of being, and the ironic part is that these new ways of being are the real me, which is why they feel so good. I have a long way to go, but I'm on the road, and I can't stop smiling.


Unknown said...

No question that self-realization can be very painful. I'm just getting ready to read The Peacegiver myself. I can't wait.

Way to go and making such major changes in your life. That's a hard to do and very commendable.

Annette Lyon said...

I went some through something similar recently. Like you said, after the tears comes the relief and joy of being able to start becoming your true self. Long journey, but it's great to know when you're on the right road. (I'm so glad your kids are coming home soon!)

Luisa Perkins said...

You are so good at making me cry and smile at the same time!