Last Day of School

My sentimentality has cost me a lot of sleep over the years.  Even though I'm so excited for the school year to be over, last night I couldn't sleep well, thinking of how sad it is that these kids just keep growing up, and how there's always something ending and something new to adjust to.  Change is coming, and we're all kind of in denial about it.  (Especially Lyndsay.)

This morning I woke up Conor with a Last Day of Kindergarten song.  He's not nearly as emotional about the whole thing as I am.  Finally, after I had gone on and on about how sad it is that he'll never be in kindergarten again, and how special this year was, he said, "You don't have to be so sad, Mom.  I'm still a little kid."  That's true, but he's getting bigger every second, and I hate it.  My very last kindergartener is done with kindergarten.  And Aiden has finished his initiatory year in middle school.  (And he's leaving on a plane today right after school for 5 weeks in Arizona, which is killing me!)

I walked Conor to school, holding his little hand, which I'm privileged to do when I don't have school myself.  I walk him to the green gate, and then he goes into the kindergarten yard (no parents allowed in there.)  He always says, "Meet me by the blue benches!"  Which, of course, after all these months, I already know to do.  He stands near me and we chat.  Sometimes he tries some hula hoop or jump rope or some cool jumping moves to impress me.  And when the attendant rings the bell, he gives me a kiss through the fence.  So, today was our last kiss through the fence.  My jailbird Kindergartener.

These are the gifts that we gave all the teachers this year.  Quick and easy, and (hopefully) sure to please.  Panda Express gift cards.  They do a cute job with their presentation, so I keep going back.  I had to get 12 of these this year!  We made the little tags that say, "I'm so FORTUNATE to have had you for a teacher!"  But I am really thankful for the teachers who work with and love my children.  They all had a great year this year.  

So, now Summer begins!  And now I have a college freshman, an 11th grader (miss you, Dylan!), a 7th grader, and a 1st grader.  I wish it would all slow down.

Summer To-Do List

I really value summer break, especially now that I'm a student myself.  All semester long, I'm thinking of things I wish I could be doing with the kids, or getting done around the house, but knowing they will have to wait till summer.  This summer will be full, since it is our last with Lyndsay before she heads off to college.  Here are some of my summer goals:

1.  Read a lot.  I have a whole pile of books I've been saving for my summer reading.

2.  Make the jam for the year.

3.  Get the kids' schoolwork organized and in file boxes.

4.  Go to the temple once a month with the kids.

5.  Start teaching Conor piano lessons.

6.  Start reading the Book of Mormon with Conor.

7.  Summer school-ish program for Conor.

8.  Go to the Getty Center with Lyndsay and Aiden.

9.  Clean out closets and drawers and donate!

10. Make a memory video for Lyndsay

11. Go through bookshelves and donate to the library.

12. Lose 10 pounds.

13.  Go to the California Science Center.

14.  Go to the Norton Simon with Lyndsay and Conor.

15.  Hike Eaton Canyon with the kids.

16.  Get renter's insurance.

17.  Back up my photos and music.

18.  Get broken things fixed around the house.

19.  Make homemade ice cream.

20.  Get kids (and me!) to the dentist.

Well, that's a start, right?  I'm sure there are more goals.  But I'm not stressing about anything.  I just want to enjoy the time with my kiddos, and the time free from studying!

Haunt You Just Right

If the cover alone doesn't make you want to buy this book, maybe my hearty recommendation will sway you.

I have been so anxious to read Dispirited.  I bought my copy right away.  Luisa is one of my dearest and truest friends in all the world.  But it had to sit on the shelf, only because I have a self-imposed rule that I cannot read books other than textbooks (and scriptures, etc. on Sundays) during the semester.  Books are very much like cookies in my life: I cannot devour only one.  Nibbling on either does not exist for me.  On Monday, I took my final exam and sat for my final clinical evaluation, feeling really under the weather and tired.  When I got home around dinnertime, all I really wanted to do was cozy up in my jammies with a good book (that had nothing to do with nursing!), and so that's what I did.  I don't remember if I cooked dinner, or if I left the masses to fend for themselves.  I remember going straight to the shelf that held my pile of summer reading books, picking up Dispirited (which was right on top) and heading up to bed.

Luisa wastes no time pulling you in.  From Chapter 1, you know you've never read a story like this one, and you must go on.  So I did.  About two-thirds of the way through the book, I could not keep my eyes open due to the effects of the cold and allergy meds I had taken, so I turned off the light and fell into a coma-like sleep within seconds.  But the story didn't leave my mind, and I was dreaming of  the realm outside of this physical one, and leaving bodies, and dark forces at work in the world, and little ghost boys, when all of a sudden I felt a presence, maybe I heard a voice--I don't recall--but I opened my eyes and there stood Conor next to my bed.  Weird.  He never does that.  He was pretty much sleep-walking, so I tucked him back into bed, and with my second wind, I turned the light on and finished the book.  It's that good.

This is a book with something for everyone: fantasy, romance, suspense.  The writing is beautiful and the story compelling and engaging.  It's written for young adults, and though there are some mature themes, they are presented in a modest, yet sobering way.  Depending on your spiritual beliefs, there's a lot of food for thought woven throughout the story as well.  It will keep you turning pages and just a little on-guard.  And the ending?  Well, I didn't see it coming.  That's always a nice surprise.  My older kids want a turn at it ASAP.  It's a gripping read.  Creepy in all the right ways.

Luisa, Darling, you nailed it.  Hurry and write something else.

Conor's Culmination

Remember at the beginning of the school year, when I was just beginning the Nursing program and Conor was ushered off to Kindergarten, maybe a bit prematurely (age wise)?  That was awful.  I missed his first day of school because I had class, which made me feel like a horrible mother.  And then, every day when I would walk him to school, he would cry and not want me to leave.  It tore my heart out.  It went completely against my instincts, which were to snatch him up, pull him out of there, and bring him back home to the safety and nurture of Mom.   But, the situation being what it was, he had to keep going.  And after several months, he grew braver about our separations in the morning.  He always had a good time during the school day, and his teacher adored him.  He is (most of the time) well behaved and obedient at school, and seemed to enjoy the learning and even the homework (which I hated).

But today, well, today was a momentous day, because Conor finished Kindergarten.  I mean, he still has to go until next Tuesday (whatever), but today was the Culmination.  It was also Sean's graduation from 8th grade, so Adam attended that, and I went to cheer on my sweet baby.  My last Kindergartener.  Oh, man.

Can you see his pale face in the crowd there?

The principal read a poem as part of the ceremony, and it really choked me up.  I couldn't stop the tears.  Now I know from first-hand experience how quickly the years pass until these little ones are just gone, so I made a conscious effort to soak in this moment in time.  I tried to memorize all the feelings of watching my little guy take this first baby step in his educational life.

On the other hand, the audience was a sea of humongous helium balloons, floral arrangements, and oversized (cheap) stuffed animals.  "Congratulations, Graduate!" the balloons screamed in shades of mylar.  Seriously?  I mean, I'm proud of my kid too, but let's get real here.  All they did was finish Kindergarten.  My kid got a kiss, a sincere compliment, and then I took him home with me.  That's right, spend the rest of the day with me.  There's your gift.  (Actually, I just didn't feel like walking back to the school in a few hours, and I knew he wouldn't be missing much. I'm lazy and selfish like that.)

Here's Conor with his teacher, Mrs. Stevens.

And here he is with his other (real) teacher, Mom.  He and I are making all kinds of fun summer plans, now that I have him all to myself.  He is one cool kid.

And now, apparently, he's a First Grader.

Milestones for Lyndsay

This has been a busy month, for sure.  Senior year in high school is intense, for the student and for the parents.  And expensive, let me tell ya.  But she did it.  I did it too, if I do say so myself.  And I haven't even completely fallen apart yet.  Yet.

I became intensely interested and involved in Lyndsay's (and then my subsequent children's) education when she was barely two years old.  The internet was new at that time, but I scoured web pages and learned all I could learn about what she should learn, when, and how she should learn it.  I interviewed Montessori schools, played around with Joy School, and when she was three, I knew I wanted to homeschool her.  I remember very clearly planning out her curriculum, placing my order, and receiving that first shipment of homeschool materials.  I was in heaven with my little girl.  And then my little boy. And pretty soon with another little boy in a sling.  I remember the first "real" year she stayed home.  That first year that everyone else her age left home and went to school, and I felt brave for following my instinct.  We watched the bus drive by out the dining room window.  And then we sat back down at the table and got to work.

I still have most of her homeschool work, three-hole punched and categorized by subject and grade in binders.  She doesn't remember most of it, the hundreds of books we read, the poems she memorized, the science projects.  But somehow, it all seeped in there and began to shape her mind and her study habits.  When it was time, when the Spirit whispered to me that change was coming, we both took the next step in faith, and off she went to high school.  Public high school.

Not every influence was good.  Many, many were not, and that made me heavy-hearted.  I watched a lot of her innocence get chipped away.  I already knew what Lyndsay was made of, though, and in those four years she found out for herself that she is strong and capable, and a light that others recognize as shining brightly.  She made a difference.  And now, she is ready for the next step on her journey.  In August, just a few short months away, she will leave the nest and begin her college education at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, on scholarship.  We always knew this was part of the plan.  From the time she was three I was mapping out in my mind and hers the importance of gaining as much education as possible.  "At least a Master's degree," I always told her.  "You need to be educated.  You want to be prepared.  And, you want to be interesting.  It's much more enjoyable to talk to educated people, and you'll be a better mother."

On Sunday, we attended her Seminary Graduation.  Four years completed, and four years earning the Excellence in Seminary Award, which means that each year she had 100% attendance, 100% daily reading of the scriptures, 100% scripture mastery (memorizing the 25 scripture mastery scriptures), and completely reading each of the books of scripture being studied that year.  I'm really proud of her and her commitment to early morning Seminary.  I know it made a difference in her life.

She's got a lot to do in the next several weeks, working and putting money away, registering for classes, and preparing to leave home.  She's excited, but not so much, if you know what I mean.  As in, DENIAL.  She'll get there, and I'm thankful she's not a teenager who's dying to "get out of here."  We'll get to spend some time together, and then I'll drive her up to school.  I'm sure at that point, I'll be falling apart.

It's going to be a bittersweet summer.

Book Review: Million Dollar Diva

Remember back here when I reviewed Safe Money Millionaire?  I really liked that book.  And that's why, even though my reading-anything-other-than-textbooks time is limited, I was really intrigued by the idea of this new book by the authors of Safe Money Millionaire, and my friend, respected fiction author, Tristi Pinkston.  In essence, she was going to become a Safe Money Millionaire guinea pig.  She was going to open up her financial situation to Brett and Ethan and see if they could offer her a brighter future than what she was currently picturing for herself.  She was swinging the doors wide open, with a refreshing honesty that most of America can relate to behind its closed doors, and through her personal journey, offer hope to others.  

And she did!  I loved this!  

The book is called Million Dollar Diva, and it is written to give women financial advice for the different challenges that we might face, but the advice is equally pertinent to men, or, as in Tristi's case, couples and families, since this is a journey that she and her husband embark on together.  In a marriage, both people would need to be equally committed to make any financial goal work, and this is no exception.  

In the beginning of the book, Tristi is bogged down with debt.  $33,000 worth, if I remember correctly. She and her husband didn't rack up that debt spending lavishly and traveling the globe, but like many, it was here a little and there a little putting things like groceries and diapers on credit cards when ends just wouldn't stretch to meet.  They faced setbacks like employment struggles and health crises.  And though they were conscientious and frugal, they just didn't see a light at the end of the tunnel.  They certainly didn't see a fulfillment of financial dreams like a bigger house, the ability to vacation, and a secure retirement.  But Brett and Ethan helped change all of that, bucking conventional wisdom, and it is all spelled out in the book, and available to you, too.  

(From the back cover:) In this book, you'll discover:

* The 5-step, simple, safe, and predictable process to change living paycheck-to-paycheck to enjoying wealth and security.

* How to give yourself a $400 per month raise without asking the boss or working a minute of overtime.

* The secret formula of how to completely eliminate your debt in 1/3 the time and save tens of thousands on interest costs in the process.

And more.  Seeing Tristi's financial future changing on the pages of the book was really exciting and inspiring.  She felt empowered in her life to bring about financial security for herself and her family.  The amazing thing is that the authors of the book are offering anyone a free copy of the book (there is a $5.95 shipping charge) so that you can experience this empowering change too!  I highly recommend that you get your free copy and read it and then take action immediately!  I really do.  This offer for the free book is only good through June 15th, though, so act on it, and tell your friends!

You can go to the website to take advantage of that amazing offer: http://www.milliondollardiva.com/

If you're reading this after June 15th, then you can buy a copy here.

This, my friends, is way cool.

Thirty-Nine

Aiden brought me breakfast in bed this morning.  And late last night, he had Lyndsay drive him to the store where he bought me the tulips.  It made me cry.  Tulips are my favorite flower and my 12 year old son knew that and spent his own money to buy them for me.  Then, while I ate, he went downstairs and did the dinner dishes from last night that I'd left in the sink, and cleaned up the kitchen.

Conor's offering was one of his chocolate milks, a bowl of strawberries, and those two boxes of raisins.

And some flowers he picked from the front yard to put in my hair.

I thought it would be fun to have our dinner and party outside in the carport/patio since it was such a nice day.  Adam and Aiden set up the tables and chairs and we all worked to get the salad fixings ready.  The lettuce we picked from the garden.  Lyndsay cut up a watermelon and made my cake.

After we ate, we thought we'd play a game together before cake, but Conor was so excited for presents, so we did that first.  I love his expression in this picture, as I open the gift that Lyndsay got me.

She gave me this beautiful (LOVE the color!) cardigan, short-sleeved.  It will be perfect with a white tee or tank underneath it.  And bless her heart, she bought a size small.  Crossing fingers on that one.

Then Conor gave me his present, really from Adam and Conor.  He wrapped it himself, and wrote me this sweet letter all by himself. (I put a copy of it at the bottom of this post.)

Then he said, "Guess what it is, Mom?"  And the reason I'm laughing so hard is because once again, Conor blew the surprise.  Conor has a long history of blurting out gifts and other surprises. This morning, while I was enjoying my breakfast in bed, he said, "Dad and I are going to give you a new alarm clock."  I thought, "yeah, right, that's random."  But when I tore back the paper there it was, a new alarm clock!  Apparently, it was his idea for my gift because he told his dad that mine was "all dusty and old."
 

When I was first looking at it, I said, "Does it play CDs?" To which my family said, "Mom, CDs are so over."  Well! I still like CDs.  So there.  

Missing my Dylan boy in this picture.  But he called me today.  Twice.  And we had a great talk.

Then we got our Settlers of Catan game going.

Lyndsay painted some Love Tree for her boyfriend.  La La land.  So sweet.  And we had music playing on the laptop.  It was so nice, really.

And then, finally, it was cake time.  Definitely not 39 candles, but we scrounged up what we could find.  And I made a wish.  I was thinking this morning about what my wish would be, and how, inevitably, my wishes are always about my children.  Isn't that the way it is for a mother?  Even my wishes belong to them, just like my heart.

And here's a copy of Conor's letter to me.  I'm used to reading little kid "I spelled it myself" letters, but in case you're not, it says, "Dear Mom, I do love you and I want you to be my mom forever.  Happy birthday.  [comma] Conor Consolo".

It's been a wonderful day.  Now, let's hope I can figure out this newfangled alarm clock and get up on time in the morning.  I have more to say about turning 39, but I'll save that for another post.  Soon.