Tuesday, October 5, 2010

To the Beat

My children use my iPod, so I get exposed to all sorts of new and interesting music. Whatever music they want to listen to is fine with me as long as it is not offensive (sexual, racial, blasphemous, portraying violence) or littered with filthy language.

As I was headed out the door for a walk last week, I grabbed the iPod and decided to listen to Lyndsay's playlist, knowing it would be fun and upbeat and keep me moving.


Now, most of Lyns' music is great. She likes everything from R&B to alternative. Some Rihanna, some Gaga (some, I said), some Jason Mraz. And then I hear the chorus, "Don't trust a hoe, never trust a hoe." Interesting advice. I listen, and I think, what a pointless song. And an F bomb. Sigh.

I note the title of the song and when I get home, I delete it, and tell Lyns the bad news. "Why?" she says, but only through a smirk. "That was a great workout song!"

"Don't trust a hoe?"

"What? That's a great message! That's a good moral!" (she knows her case is weak.)

"We need a whole song to give us that message? With the F word in it? No."

Just to be a smart aleck, the next morning she comes down singing, "Black dress, with the tights underneath. . ." Nice try.

I'm in an interesting position raising these kids. I am (technically) married, but he is not their father. He is more a friend, which is nice for them, but leaves me alone on the battlefield when it comes to these teenage land mines. (And this "Don't trust a hoe" episode is hardly my biggest problem.) My kids used to really dig me, and I felt an immense security in their love and adoration of me as their mom. These days I am not so popular, and it's really hard.

I was so grateful to hear (with my children present, who I only require to sit and listen to one session of their choosing) during Sunday's afternoon session of General Conference, a talk by Elder Larry R. Lawrence of the Seventy. A talk he directed to the parents of teens. I take notes during conference talks, and these were the highlights:

*Be strong and of a good courage
*The world needs courageous parenting
*We need to value their lives more than temporary convenience.
*Parents who love their children cannot afford to be intimidated by them.
*Parenting is not a popularity contest.
*Parents need to speak up before Satan intervenes.
*The Lord relies on valiant parents.

I was having my "Hallelujah!" moments right out loud as he spoke. "Thank you, Larry!" I said as he gave illustrations throughout his talk. The kids laughed a bit, and choked a bit more. I was so grateful for the boost and another voice saying the same things that I've been saying. It may not have increased my popularity, but at least the kids know I'm not making this stuff up. I really do love them. I really do have their best interest at heart. I'm really trying my best, with confidence that one day they'll come around and thank me.

In the meantime, I'll keep my armor on. The battlefield is real.

And p.s., don't trust a hoe. Just don't. Now that I've pulled that nugget of truth out for you, you don't need the whole song.


mindyluwho said...

That talk was my all time favorite. I felt very validated as a parent for the things I have to do and say. I pretty much let my kids know that they could sit and listen to that talk when they wanted to question my parental role!

J9 said...

LOVED that same talk! And my teenage daughter who I am struggling with right now says "are you intimidated by me, mom?" to which I answered "NO! If I were intimidated by you, you might like me more!" And in spite of all the validation I received from the talk, she still threatened to run away this weekend because she didn't like the rules (what? mom won't let me ride in a car with kids who drink? SO controlling!)