I had a career in Mary Kay Cosmetics for a few years. I had success fairly quickly, earning a free car five months after signing my Independent Beauty Consultant Agreement, and becoming a Sales Director just two months after that. I loved the Company's philosophies of God first, family second, career third; living by the Golden Rule; and making our success about the women, not the makeup. I met outstanding women, and traveled all over the country for seminars and conferences. I learned from very savvy and successful leaders in the Company, and I followed almost all of their tips for success. I love the 5 Most Important Things list. I did my Positive Affirmations. But I never participated in the 5 o'clock Club. No way, Jose.
Mary Kay Ash was a member (the originating member?) of the 5 o'clock Club, and she taught that all consultants who wanted to rise to the top make the Club a priority as well. Very simply, get up at 5am. Get a head start on the day, while others are sleeping and distractions are minimal. Recharge yourself, so you can give to others. Well, I was tired. I was a single mom, and often out late on dates, so 5am could just pass right on by with 6am. And it did.
I stepped down from my position as a Senior Sales Director with Mary Kay Cosmetics two years ago. My focus was elsewhere now that I was remarried, and shortly after, expecting a baby. Over the last few years, I have felt myself hurrying to catch up constantly. I'm always trying to fit in the essentials, and very often, yesterday's essentials. I am tired, my tummy and my butt are getting softer than I prefer, and I lack the discipline I once held dear for my personal spiritual renewal. Every night I found myself going to bed promising myself that tomorrow, for sure, I would find time to exercise. Tomorrow, for sure, I would read my scriptures and spend time in thoughtful meditation. Well, every night I went to bed a liar, and that didn't do my morale any good.
Another thing I learned in Mary Kay is that the silent tapes we run over and over in our minds are very powerful. Self-talk can be edifying or destructive. Our minds don't know the difference between truth and fiction, they only believe what we tell them. If we tell ourselves we are fat, quitters, weak, and lazy, then our subconscious minds go to work to bring that to pass. If, however, we tell ourselves that we are valuable, strong, talented, and worthwhile, then that truth becomes our reality as well. My self-talk often goes something like this:
"You're such a phony. Everyone thinks you're so great, but look at you. You're a failure. You're divorced. Scarred forever. Nobody really wants you. You can't even get your butt out of bed. Yeah, right, you're gonna start working out consistently. You're just a hit-and-miss person, face it. Why do you even kid yourself?"
I could go on and on. But to realize that makes my heart ache. That is not who I am. And certainly not who I am becoming. This is more the real me:
"I have such determination! I am able to see changes that need to be made, and I have the courage to act upon them. I inspire others. I am a light in this world. This world needs me. I am strong, and I can do whatever I set my mind to do, with the help of God and those angels he has put in my life."
I could go on and on. It isn't as easy as the negative self-talk, but at least it's true! If you notice, my negative self-talk was in the second person, while my positive self-talk is in the first person. That's because the negative self-talk isn't really me talking at all. And if you have negative self-talk, it isn't your voice you're hearing either.
I am now a member of the 5 o'clock Club. I was hesitant to claim it at first, probably giving credance to that negative voice of failure, but I am doing it! It has been a remarkable gift to me! I awake and go downstairs to the beautiful darkness and silence, and I carve out some time just for me. For renewal, for strength, for my spirit that gives and gives and gives all day. My goal during the two hours I have before being "on duty" is to read from my scriptures, write in my journal, and workout. If I'm lucky, I can shower too. I have had marvelous experiences so far, as I read and ponder the scriptures. He is there waiting for me, to teach me, to validate the positive voice and add to it, to encourage me in all my worthy endeavors.
I did not expect to love the morning solitude as I do. I did not expect to feel so protective of it. It is mine, but I believe the mother who claims for herself, has all the more to give. And then the gift is the world's.